So, hey guys, erm, I’m still single… Impossible right?! Ha! Nope! I defy science… And all the prayer and love dances my Mum has done, ever…
Speaking of my Mother, this hilarious and slightly mental (in a good way) woman, other than suggesting I freeze my eggs, because at the grand old age of 28 I’m ‘getting on a bit, and closer to the wrong side of 35’, also recently suggested that I start paying to find someone who might actually want to spend the rest of their life with me. She’s completely in the know about the Bumble dates, the men met in bars, Alchemist bar managers who ask you out whilst you are there on a date (ballsy, right?!) and more, but she’s also aware that 99.9% of those just want a hook up and not a wife. Forgive her, she’s Indian, she wants grandkids!
She also met a couple in our little village (older, career-focused and both knowing what they wanted), who met on The Times Dating site. A different ‘calibre’ of people and ones actually more focused on finding love whilst juggling careers, and who make it completely clear what they want, rather than feigning complete interest, sleeping with you, and then pissing on the flame that had barely begun to even burn. Oh, and these ones can hold a telephone conversation too… She also mentioned (and this was actually the selling point) that those on paid dating sites are probably so career focused that I wouldn’t even have to spend lots of time with them, which seeing as I don’t like people, would suit me perfectly.
So, I guess I could give it a go. I deleted Bumble again, mainly because I got bored, and the app lies when it says you’ve turned off all of the notifications, but paid dating could be different, and I also know a lot of people who have had success in meeting people this way too. If this fails, I’ve concluded that the love of my life is definitely in the Arctic, a place on Earth with no internet connection, obviously.
Don’t you just love receiving Dating advice from your Mother? A Mother in a 30-year marriage to my Father who adores her, and openly admits that she has no idea how love in the modern age works. But her intentions are good, and that’s what matters. That, and she’s worthy of a blog post because her dedication to getting me out of her hair and to becoming someone else’s problem is frankly, unwavering.