Blame it on the alcohol… not on the fact that I’m just not your version of ‘perfect’…

Boy, has my ego just been bruised… not that this experience is anything new mind you, but as is ever the case with this blog, I needed to share it with you.

Yeah, I met a guy, and we are already at the ‘never mind’ part of the conversation. I of course, met him in a bar, where he was checking me out, flirting and everything else that comes with it. Today however, he’s not feeling it. Taken one look at me, and just doesn’t feel it. Alright, straight talker, that stung a little. Naturally, I had to ask why and what he was thinking last night. His response… “It was the alcohol that gave me the confidence”. Damn… So this made me think. Why do we do it to ourselves and have I ever done this to anyone either?

Why do we do it to ourselves?

We are all a little lonely, I guess. Pleasure is a nice thing to experience, and it all releases oxytocin – the happy hormone or the ‘love drug’. When we feel as though we could succeed with a person, we will give it a go. People are horny, and lastly, alcohol releases our inhibitions and gives us the confidence we didn’t know we had.

Have I done this?

Yeah, I have, because let’s face it, attention makes us feel amazing! Have I also used the ‘I’m not feeling it’ phrase because in truth, I’m not feeling their physique? Yep. Not a nice truth, but we are all shallow beings, and attraction is essential to anything else happening from that point onwards.

Can we ever move away from this though? Can there be a sense of us finding people attractive and seeing their personality and wanting to know more? You know, where is they guy that notices you from across the room, is fascinated by your bubbly personality and wants to get to know you better? With him realising this desire, sober. Where are the women willing to do the same? They absolutely exist, these types of people, they are simply the exception, and not the rule.

A few months ago, my friend went on a few dates with a girl and just didn’t feel anything click with her. When he broke it off, she asked him why and what it was exactly that she did that made him feel this way. His response was this. Put simply, it was nothing that she did, she was just not his perfect, and so she shouldn’t go changing herself based on the things he noticed that didn’t fit with him. She was perfect entirely as she was for someone else – the right person – and so shouldn’t go changing based on his feelings about the situation.

So, what can I take away from all of this? In short, don’t change. We are all perfect beings. Some of us may just be slightly messier than someone else, heavier, someone who talks too much, belly laughs at everything, sings out of tune, and drinks far too much sometimes, but has ambition and a brain, and a desire to help and learn about others and those around her. Which (one hopes) could be the perfect that someone out there is searching for.

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