“Men are from Mars”… Yeah, this couldn’t be more true…

I know a guy. A guy who always, always, always appeared to be interested. No, this wasn’t in my head, unless it’s somehow now been defined that “let’s switch numbers, send me pics of you in Brazil, we should grab some food, I wanna take you to this place with the best espresso martinis, let me come over today”, is just being friends, then boy, am I swallowing my pride.

This has been happening for months, and I like him because, of the hundreds of man-children that exist on this planet, hell, in this city, he seemed decent – even my sister agreed. For starters, he actually has a brain, and – as far as I could tell – isn’t one of the guys who partakes in the daily dick-swinging contest that occurs at the local watering hole (in my case, the gym).

So last week, I went up to him and said that we should finally switch numbers. He messaged, he called, he asked me out, initially asking if I was seeing someone. The ever-residing ‘no’ was my response, obviously – I mean if I were in a relationship, this blog would go to shit, oh and won’t entertain another man if I’m already in one either – with him then saying that he wanted to take me to a really great bar he knew that made amazing espresso martinis (love them by the way), and asked which Friday I was free. This Friday – today. Done. We were going out. He also invited himself to mine, despite me saying no that same day. Luckily something about car insurance expiring hindered his drive to Oxford (I was secretly happy about this – I was tired after a hectic week, and more importantly, my hair was far too greasy to entertain another human).

So, cut to the middle of the week. We’ve not spoken to one another and I’ve not bumped into him, so I drop him a message. Turns out, he’s been unwell. I offer to postpone drinks. Apparently a “yes or no” response is not part of a man’s vocabulary, but rather, “you go have fun, I got too excited in the sun last week and preejaculated too early. I think I had sunstroke” is. Well, what in the Sam heck does that mean? I took it as a “no”. However, it does also feel as though he implied that he was practically delirious the entire time he was talking to me…

So, when I say men are from Mars… am I right? I know that if I spoke to Maverick he’d say he’s got bored because all men like the chase, yet technically he still hadn’t got me, unless of course, all he wanted was a “yes” in response to a question. What got to me, was that I don’t know what I’ve done, or how I’ve acted to lead to this situation, ultimately causing me to question who I am and again, how I always seem to be the problem.

It really is simple, be a man and follow through, or if your mindset isn’t that way, don’t approach me. I neither have the time or interest to deal with boys who can’t behave like decent human beings – I’m headstrong AF, and don’t ever want to play mother to you either. My aim is to be a partner, not a parent. So this Friday night, I’m off to the gym…

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