To The Men I’ve Dated, This Question is for You…

‘Dear failed love interest,

Please could you kindly take this time to complete a very short survey of your experience dating me. All feedback is welcome, and your time would be most appreciated.

The kindest of regards,

The girl you bought dinner’.

What is wrong with me? Okay, maybe too much? Well let me tell you a little story as to why I’m asking.

I recently dated a guy who on paper, and when we were together was… well 100% my type. He and I had very similar interests, an almost bizarre love for Disney – he’s definitely not gay, so stay with me here, I mean I have turned a guy gay, but hey, that’s a story for another time – he’s intelligent, funny, witty, cultured, chatty, friendly, well-mannered, and other than being a little short – like he was the same height as me – he ticked all the metaphorical boxes.

The more I saw him and got to know him through our conversations, the more I liked him. I however was not to his taste, or box-ticking standard. He admitted that while he really enjoyed my company; he found me funny, interesting and fun to be with, he didn’t want anything serious and wanted to be friends. Alas, another soul lost to the wind.

However, this one hit me harder than it should have done, or it has done before. Something like this happens once, okay move on, a second time, perhaps it’s the luck of the draw or the cards you’ve been dealt. A third, fourth, maybe eleventh time – I’ve positively lost count – you start to question – like seriously question – why. So, after some major ‘self-loathing’ as Maverick put it, I concluded that the problem was either me as a person, or my approach to this crazy little thing we call love.

So, gentlemen, my question to you is, what made you say no? Was it physical? The hair, make-up, my voice, my laugh, my size or my clothes? Is it my personality? My attitude, temperament, confidence (arrogance?), or ambition? The way in which I approach things? Emasculation? Giving off the aura that I can do everything on my own? I mean I could do a lot on my own, but I just don’t want to, and it’s so much more fun with two anyway… Or was it simply, that it just didn’t feel right?

Now don’t get me wrong, what happened to me, I’ve done to men too, so I am in no way innocent in all this, nor the victim. I have however always thought about how interesting it would be to ask the question and get a little feedback. You know a dating lessons learnt. Or project improvement feedback.

Now, while it may appear as though I aim to change for boys, I don’t and probably won’t fundamentally change who I am, but as a friend of mine mentioned, perhaps it’s simply time to change my approach to this grand old love game.

This is in short, me saying, I don’t know what’s wrong, so I can’t yet change. Would you help me? Share this, and let me and the world know what you think. Feedback is accepted by all channels of communication, sliding into DMs, What’s app, Fb message, text message, iMessage, tweets, comments, snap stories, email, a phone call, or even good old-fashioned snail mail…

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