‘Rejection sucks! With every no, or I’m not feeling this, or I don’t want anything right now, I feel as though the problem is unambiguously me.
Honestly, I’m rejected even when there are no real tell-tale signs that it is going badly. Either that or I am blinded to it. That could be it. Perhaps I am also looking for something different to those that I date, and so with this subconscious aura, it makes people walk away, rather than staying. Again, not such a bad thing. When the headspace differs, rejection is inevitable…’
You can just hear the world’s smallest violin, playing the world’s saddest song, just for me, can’t you?! Well, the above was my thinking and general attitude about how the world is against me and nobody loves and will ever love me, until Maverick kindly reminded me that I wasn’t alone in all of this. He highlighted a key point – by way of telling me to stop being so pathetic about it and get over myself and get on with life – rejection occurs more often than your success rating, it just feels worse when you are the one on the receiving end of it. ‘Rejection isn’t bad, how you deal with it is, and remember it’s okay to lose. You’ll never know if you don’t go [there, he means there…]’.
Now when this comes from a guy whose success rating was – you thought – pretty much 100%, it works wonders for your confidence. It also means everything that your friend – no matter how bluntly – will tell you like it is, and fight your corner, especially when you’re down.
I come at this from a female perspective. It’s hard putting yourself out there. We have always believed that men should do the pursuing, and hey, 90% of the time I’m all for that, but women should make a move too on occasion, and know that it is also okay to. I have. A few times. I’ve been let down gently, and flat out ignored. I’ve bitched to Maverick about all men being the same, and realised that they aren’t. The men I’ve gone for, simply put, I’m incompatible with. Or not their preference. This is no poor reflection on me as a person, but entirely on the situation at hand and the preference of the person involved.
It has even happened to me again recently, where I’ve been flat out ghosted. It’s a pity, as the guy and I got on well, or seemed to at least, but circumstance and preference are probably just one of many reasons why he no longer wanted to keep whatever this was, up. Alas, rejected once more. I did learn from it though, and that’s what counts.
Maintaining a positive outlook and understanding that it’s okay to lose. It really is. It will not change you as a person. It stings a little, but it will also open you up to the realisation that life goes on when you are met with a ‘no’. It makes you more resilient and allows you to try again. There is also an element of excitement there, and maybe a little nervousness too – a thrill almost.
So yes, rejection initially sucks, but you are not the only one who is being rejected. It happens to everyone. The important thing is how you respond to it, and what you take away from it. At the very least you’ll never have to ask yourself ‘what if’. You would have tried, and that counts for everything…