Modern Dating: How Does it Work and What to Expect?

I’m a believer in a fairy-tale. In the old-school love story. 1950s carnival. Guy sees the girl playing a game at a stall, he goes over and strikes up a conversation, and the rest is history. I once even read a story about an older couple, on Instagram. When asked how they met, the man replied, ‘I got onto the bus, saw her, put my watch in my pocket, and asked her for the time’. An in vogue love story for an old-fashioned romantic.

However this is not how it works today. Dating, relationships and romance – how we describe it – is now incredibly different and light-years away from the bygone era of our parents and grandparents before us. So from my experience here is what to expect from dating in the modern-day world.

  1. It’s very quick…

Dating nowadays has an expiration date shorter than a pint of milk. We don’t really try to see how it goes with just one person. People are dating different people everyday of the week because the option to date a different person is so easily accessible. Tinder, Match.com, Ok Cupid and Plenty of Fish for a straight smash and dash, have been just a few key examples of why the modern-day date game has changed. After one date we make the decision that the person isn’t good enough and move to the next one, without taking into consideration any other factors, which may have affected the date – nerves?! Do people still get nervous?

  1. We don’t talk anymore…

Forget ever discovering what the other person is thinking or feeling because they will never say it to your face. They will double tap on a mysteriously relevant quote on Instagram, repost it, and then pop a status up ensuring that the world and that one person it specifically refers to, that they are totally fine. Furthermore, we converse through text completely impersonally, missing out on real meaning and intonation from anything we say. We begin a sentence with LoL or end with hahha to disguise our anger or hurt, because the person who cares less wins in this game.

  1. It’s not a relationship…

It’s everything that defines a relationship. Dating, courting, having someone to talk to about your day, introducing them to you family, getting them involved with your friendship circle, and sleeping with them, but nooooo, it’s not a relationship. Just casually seeing one another. Because titles makes it harder to leave when something better comes along.

  1. Hook up with me and then I might ask you out…

Okay, so sex is no longer taboo. This is brilliant. We are more open to talking about it, understanding it, and the pleasures that come with sex. However, because we are so open, we believe that the only way to really connect with someone, or to see if there is any chemistry, is to sleep with him or her first. It’s far more important than getting to know a person for who they are – or so it seems. In short if you aren’t open to bedding someone as soon as possible then the chances of you finding someone is pretty low. Waiting isn’t typically done anymore – unless super religious…

  1. Flirting is only done through an app – god that’s how you know I like you, duh…

When we like someone, we don’t flirt face-to-face – no. That would be telling the world how we feel about that person and that would imply actually caring. So we ignore them and talk to or sleep with everyone other than our crush – including the people we hate and who they hate too. However by social media rules we double tap EVERYTHING and also comment, and send them the relevant emojis that comes with the flirt game – enter eggplant and peach emojis here…

Okay, so modern day dating isn’t all this bleak. Love exists. Good people do too, and new relationships happen everyday. What I have highlighted are some of the harsh realities of twenty-first century dating. However if you can learn to play the game and work through this, you’ll find something real too…

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