Enlightened… A Change in My Date Game…

‘We are shaped by our thoughts; we become what we think. When the mind is pure, joy follows like a shadow that never leaves.’ – Buddha.

I believe that the universe sends us signals, if of course we are entirely open to them, or at least willing to take notice of the pattern of events that occur…

I’m stuck in a rut. A never-ending cycle of one poor dating choice after another. With commitment-phobes, sex-pests and the occasional friend who attempted to use a pretty heavy selection of words to get me into bed, thrown in, it’s fair to say my luck isn’t the best. Topped off with the fact that I am not entirely sure what I am even looking for (except occasionally when I decide I am a beautiful princess, deserving of a fairy-tale), has not made well for anything real, or tangible. So, as it’s me, I laugh it off, throw a little self-deprecating comedy into the mix and write a post or two. Behind this however, it’s entirely different. It’s confused, hurt, frustrated – which can often appear to be anger – and a consistent thought cycle of ‘what is wrong with me?’ only leading to more poor decisions and thus, the cycle beginning again.

I’m fortunate in that I have a friend in particular who, within a second of looking at me can tell where my headspace is at. Being friends for a while has allowed us to open up to one another, and so they have literally recently got the full-on brainstorm in a teacup from me. They concluded that I’m crazy, hilariously so, need to understand that they are always there when I’m down no matter what, and that the problem isn’t me per se, but rather my attitude towards the whole thing in general. Now, while the sane part of me kind of knew this, the irrational part – the part vehemently apparent when the tornado appeared – didn’t like to hear this and so didn’t listen. If you are reading this however, allow me to thank you. Your sound advice and you being one of the many signals from the universe has helped. I mean, it’s taken a while, but I’m grateful…

However, when the universe sends you one signal that you ignore, it will undoubtedly send you a few more just to further accentuate it’s point. My sister has been through hell on earth the last few months, and was recommended a book called ‘The Secret’. Hannah is very spiritual and the words in this book greatly resonated with her. Something which doesn’t quite so easily come to me. She was recommended it by one of her work colleagues, and in turn has recommended it to me. So, I’ve given it a go. It focuses on the laws of attraction – what you think you believe, thus attracting this into your life. If you are predominately negative about whatever it may be, you are more inclined to draw negativity towards you. Okay so not exactly a new concept, but interesting to see it written down. So I opened up my mind palace to this and let the positive thoughts flow. It’s working… kinda…

Anyway, my final signal from said universe came in the form of coffee with Daniela – a really good friend of mine. It took her highlighting to me just how far I’ve come, the type of person I am and that looking for love, usually means you’ll never find it, to realise the universe is working for me rather then against me. She focused on all of the good that has occurred within my life at the moment,  my transformation, work, the simple fact that I’m surrounded by people who love me, and that a man shouldn’t make this feel complete, or as though I’ve not achieved. I offer advice left, right and centre on finding people to compliment your life rather than having someone there for the sake of being a part of something everyone else is, yet never actually heed this myself. Ironic, right?!

So dear universe and readers I am now – finally – listening. I am shutting off – in a dating sense. In all fairness, I have a lot to focus on at the moment, and so I don’t really want the focal part of my brain to reside on my relationship status – or lack thereof. If a man walks into my life and something happens, then dear readers, you will be the first to know. I couldn’t possibly keep that quiet now, could I?!

This does not however mean that I will stop writing though, in fact rather the opposite. The focus may shift slightly… I mean, I still have an archive full of stories to share, I just won’t be writing about any current ones for the foreseeable future. I will however – readers permitting – begin to share your stories too. I get a fair few people writing into the blog looking for advice or to see if anyone else is going through a similar sort of thing to them. In short, we all are. But it also means that this blog can begin to become something a little more about you too. What do you think? So, write in, send me your stories, ask for advice if need be, or start up a conversation with me – I will reply, I promise you. I wish to know more about you, so watch this space for something new.

In the meantime, while I search for a warm beach on an Island in Asia with a yoga mat and some meditative thinking, I shall leave you with this: ‘To enjoy good health, to bring true happiness to one’s family, to bring peace to all, one must first discipline and control one’s own mind. If a man can control his mind, he can find the way to enlightenment, and all wisdom and virtue will naturally come to him.’ – Buddha.


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