I get this question all the time from people. It’s a confusing one, especially within the 21st century and the desire for a woman to be all things equal to a man…
Maverick and I have had this conversation quite a bit, and it’s a common pet peeve of his – and many a guy in fact – if a girl expects a guy to always pay on the date. He will never let her pay – he’s even like this with his friends, which I admire – but appreciates it so much more when she at least offers. His exact words being ‘it’s great because it shows she’s appreciative of being taken out and doesn’t expect anything’.
He has a point. Ladies, you should never expect a man to pay for you. Would you then let him have sex with you whenever he wanted? My point is that the entire approach is a double standard. We want the same rights as men, we want the same pay, and to be seen as equal for doing the same job, or train equally as hard at the gym for example (just me on the gym thing maybe?), but we still expect them to pay every single time we go out? That’s hardly fair.
It used to be the case, of men paying for the date, purely because men were the breadwinners. The only earners and so could only be the ones to take a woman out and court her. Oftentimes now, you’ll find both partners working, or even the woman being the clear breadwinner. So times have changed, and we have welcomed that. And we should welcome it here, in the dating game too.
Now I’m not saying guys never have to pay for you ever again. Not at all. What I am saying is on occasion you can be the one to pick up the bill at the end of a Nando’s – or in this case the beginning cause you pay before you eat – but you know what I mean. Or if you ask a guy out, which is now perfectly normal and accepted, expect to pay. After all, you did ask them. If he then decides he wants to pay, that’s fine, but don’t expect it.
Even if he does earn more, make it a case of you paying for the cheaper dates if need be, or partly contributing to the more expensive ones. After all it should really be a partnership rather than a ‘take-ship’ if you get what I mean. Treat the person like your best friend. You’d take them out sometimes, or split things, and sometimes this rule should apply in dating too. I’ve both split bills and taken a guy out and paid for the entire date. It didn’t emasculate him, he took me out many a time after that, and he told me he respected me more for it too. You reciprocating the effort is never a bad thing.
So girls, it really is time to stop expecting. Yes, he will take you out, and if he never does, dash him in the bin and find someone better, he clearly was never taught any manners. But if you don’t at least offer, neither were you.