Change… Why Do We Always Think That It’s Bad?

So I was chatting with a friend of mine today. Banter was being thrown in all directions, and then it changed. It got more serious. My friend told me that I had changed in the time that we had known each other, and it was because of the gym. This comment wasn’t a positive one.

My friend said I’d become one of ‘those girls’. Those ‘gym girls’. I’d become the stereotype. The kind of girl we laugh at. That we’ve always laughed at. I walked away from this conversation deflated. It also made me question if I have in fact become ‘that girl’.

Do I walk into the gym and think I own the place? – yes. Do I chat to guys? – yes, but I workout in the free-weight and sometimes I need help with taking a weight off of a bar, or want to jump in on a piece of equipment, so does this count? Maybe… Do I wear fitted clothing? – yes, but I’m proud of how far I’ve come, and want to show it off. My trainer gets more compliments about this anyway, because he’s the one who’s been kicking my ass into shape. Do I think I know what I am doing and can basically train you? – yes, but so does everyone, I’m a cocky SOB, I admit it, and the only people who really know what to do are those educated in it, the trainers. Do I take selfie after selfie and post it on Instagram? – yes, I’m borderline narcissistic, and a millennial so sue me…

Alright, I’ve just defended every truth… I have become one of those girls… but I have also changed in a good way too. In the last two years my confidence has grown. Not just because I’ve lost weight. I’ve grown at work, and have learnt to believe in my ability to do things. I’m far more likely now to take a risk, to get up and go, to explore and try new things, because improving your self-confidence helps with stepping out of your comfort zone. I’m more open than I was before about how I feel and what I think – admittedly I lack a filter, but baby steps guys – and its made me a better person to be around, because I’m not bottling how up how I feel. That makes a massive difference to not only my mental health but also my ability to interact with others and be around others too.

Change isn’t a bad thing, and this is what I wanted to highlight in this post. While my friend has only seen the negative in how I’ve changed in the time we have known each other, there are positives to me changing. In order to grow, we have to change, and learn what’s good, or bad. We just need to realise that change can be for good too.

2 thoughts on “Change… Why Do We Always Think That It’s Bad?

  1. that was a really crappy comment for your friend to make, and it was unnecessary because what will either of you gain from that comment? It actually sounds a little bit like it may have been coming from jealousy too. Change is a great thing and as long as you don’t lose your good principles and kindess along the way, then really who cares if you end up like “those girls”, the most important thing is that we stay being good people, and other than that everybody changes, it’s a natural part of life, it’s how we grow;


  2. i feel like there are a select few people in our lives that only want to be our ‘friend’ when we’re not doing so well.. or when we are in fact on the same wave as them. as soon as you start doing better or seeing the best in yourself, you are now almost above them.
    it’s sad but i’ve lost a friend recently because i changed too. i began wanting more for myself, wanting to better myself and it all started because i began to battle my depression and anxiety by myself. i was no longer vulnerable and could stand on my own two feet… this unsettled my ‘friend’ and we no longer speak.

    surround yourself with people that encourage and empower you. there is nothing better than having friends pushing you to be your best.
    i’ve learned quality of a friend is much more important than length of friendships or how many you have!

    you keep going!!! confidence is inspiring!


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s