Dating in the 21st century sucks. It’s awful. It’s lengthy, problematic and is becoming as cut-throat as the U.K. Job market… It’s all a game. A game of who cares less. Care less and you win. Show interest and you will lose. Every time…
Social media makes people overly accessible and too easy to both pursue and possess, for quick and short term gratification. A platform used to play a game of subtle interest. A casual slide into her DM, a quick like or 20 on his last few Instagram posts and you’re basically in a modern world relationship. For those of you afraid of this level of commitment, don’t worry, you aren’t the only one they are doing it to. Rest assured you are at least one of five at any one time.
Cut to finally taking this off social media and potentially on a good old-fashioned date… Don’t be so sure. The word date is no longer used. ‘Hang out’ and ‘watch a movie’ (fuck), are the common synonyms for a modern day date. Give away too much too soon and you’re quickly replaced on their list with a new number 5. Care less and you are the one with the power. Show interest and you are wayyy too needy, and that’s the worst thing you could ever humanly be.
‘Play the game’, Maverick always tells me. ‘Play the game and you’ll get laid. Play the game and guys will be falling all over you. Play the game and you get exactly what you want’. However, I can’t help but think that this has to be the game of those under the firm belief that being in a relationship makes you whipped, and playing about makes you a G. All men cannot be the same, surely?
In fact I know a fair few that aren’t, and are in pretty good going relationships because they didn’t play the game. It was – boldly put – normal… a guy likes a girl, a girl likes a guy, guy asks her out. They keep dating. He asks her to be his girlfriend. Relationship made. No games. Simple, easy life. Guys even argue that living a simple and easy life is all they really want, so why on god’s green earth do we insist on playing games?
I’m someone who thrives, and quite frankly, needs clarity and to know where I stand. You don’t get that in the game of 21st century dating. Not even close. Modern day dating just makes it more and more murky. As millennials we are already so busy focusing on our careers, education, travelling the world, personal growth and enlightenment, cleaning up the mess of our predecessors and so much more. If we are so engrossed and exhausted by all of this, why do we give ourselves the extra added pressure of playing games when finding a mate?
Is it just me who’s a little bit sick of all of this? Could we ever go back to actually being honest and openly interested? To be confident in ourselves to ask a person out or switch numbers with them? If they aren’t interested, move on and perhaps not post a suspiciously relevant quote on Facebook or Instagram and throw shade because your ego got bruised? You have to be willing to lose right? So why not be willing, and act like an adult when doing it?
In short, I’m tired of the drama and if anyone knows of a gentleman who isn’t interested in playing these games, please send him my way. I’m hilarious, and totally dateable. Haha.