Should I take a leap of faith and ask him out?

I am a massive believer in female empowerment and women making the first move. I am. I’ve said this before, and providing we are willing to take the guy out, then I think more women should be inclined to do the asking.

However, as I frequently do when I am in a situation when it comes to my date game, I turn to Maverick and Rocco for some advice and opinion on the matter.

As I have mentioned a million times over, Maverick and Rocco are like chalk and cheese when it comes to their approach to women and their outlook on dating. This is perfect for me, because it gives me two different sides of the male psyche to play with, understand, and ultimately come to a conclusion… or as I usually do, ignore them both and do my own thing. Hmmm… this probably explains why I am single… interesting… anyway…

Let’s begin with Maverick. He’s a bad boy. He loves his women, and loves to play the ‘game’, whatever that game is. We tend to disagree when it comes to our outlooks on dating and relationships, but I always value his input and opinion, because he does – at times – make sense. Maverick believes that women shouldn’t ask a guy out too soon, because it takes away from the chase. The idea that a woman is just a little too out of reach for the man, and he’s got to work to get her interested. If she asks first or too quickly, it gets boring really quickly. I sort of understand this, but a girl won’t necessarily ask just anyone if she can’t be sure there is at least something there.

Contrastingly, when asking Rocco the same thing, he completely disagreed. He argued that it would be no less interesting or fun if a girl were to go ahead and make the first proper move, and to ask him out. He felt that it would make her all the more interesting. She’s ballsy, and it would in fact make him more curious to see what she has to offer, in terms of conversation, personality, spark etc. He also said it would be refreshing as it’d take a lot of pressure off of him for once. He also argued that for a man who is typically shy, it would be a massive weight off of their shoulders.

I also watched a couple videos created by Buzfeed about girls asking out guys first. Most guys interviewed would love it. Players included. One guy even said that it’d make him feel like a boss. When the girls were interviewed, there were a fair few that had experienced that role, and felt empowered when asking someone out. They also however, highlighted the stigmatism that comes with a woman asking a man out. It can be seen as a power struggle. Women can come across as too pushy, aggressive and too strong, when it should really fundamentally be about saying – I want to spend some time with you because I like you. If you want to we can, if you don’t we don’t have to…

Now here is my dilemma. The man in question is chatty, yet has informed me that he is extremely shy. He’s invited me to drinks with his close friends, barely knowing me. He makes an effort to chat and remembers the most random things we have spoken about – as do I – and appears to be a fan of physical contact by way of arm touching and the occasional hug. Picking up on this, I’ve started to show my interest in a similar sort of way. The thing is, is that I am incredibly loud, and probably ever so slightly intimidating.

Now this all sounds like borderline interest right? Except it’s gone no further. He’s flat out told me that he is incredibly shy, and as the bestie argued, this could be his way of telling you that he’s interested but a little scared because – in her words – I’m too bloody much, and basically take to flirting like humans take to breathing air. We’ve not exchanged numbers, nor the typical social media outlets that most millennials partake in either. Our paths cross most days, so we will always talk to one another at some point, but neither of us have plucked up the courage to do anything more.

To be honest, the more I think about it, the scarier it gets. I think it’s that fear of rejection, and knowing that I will still basically see him almost every day subsequently, if he were to ever say no. Is this what guys feel like?

I really need to learn to get myself out of the grey-zone. That murky place between friends and something more. Since I’m mayor and now want to abdicate, would anyone else like to fill the position? I guess the one thing that comes from this, is that maybe sometimes a woman should take the bull by the horns and take the first step, regardless of the potential outcomes. As Maverick always says, you’ve got to find what works best for you, and ultimately be willing to lose, and be okay with that…

So what to do? Leave it and do nothing, or rise to the challenge, and have another blog post for you in a few weeks’ time? Cause let’s be honest whether the outcome be positive or negative, it’ll be amusing…

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