She’s Just One of The Guys…

‘Sometimes I feel like I’m too much of a boy’. – The thought alone frustrates me, yet I find myself thinking this more and more.

Since moving into my new place at work, I’ve gotten to know one of the members of the finance team in particular. He’s had his fair share of girl drama, and firmly believes that they are all crazy. I’m consistently on the defence when he says this, because I don’t think we are – not all of us anyway…

Since getting to know me, he’s concluded that I’m ‘a bit of a boy’. This was in reference to my attitude towards things. It’s very much a ‘no BS, just get on with it’ attitude, topped with a little ‘it’ll be fine’ cause it usually always is eventually. I’ve also got a very dry sense of humour, that most girls apparently don’t have. I’m also more than happy to get on with life and do my own thing, and really not very hesitant to express my opinion. If you take one look at me however, you will quickly realise that I am the furthest thing from a boy you could get.

The comparison itself didn’t actually offend me. What got to me was the fact that this attitude is directly related to being male. As if women are only supposed to be emotional, gossip, focus on the latest trends, shop everyday, be shallow and have a consistent tide of drama cascading throughout their everyday lives.

I am in fact just as much of a ‘girly’ girl. I love make up, dresses, painting my nails, shopping, wearing heels, flirting and so on. In fact, I’ve even found myself apologising to guys for going ‘all girl’ on them for a second or two – like it’s a bad thing…

But this begs the question, why is being a girl or being feminine faced with such negativity? Why is a girl shoehorned into only one of two categories? The Tomboy – basically one of the guys but with a vagina, that is simply not attractive enough to the opposite sex in any way, shape or form; or The Princess – a bit of an airhead that expects too much and thrives on drama – whether that be creating it, or jumping at the chance to get involved in it.

Why are we teaching our girls to believe the media hype that says the more attractive they appear, the more appealing they will be to guys? While aesthetics are to an extent important – like you have to be physically attracted to a person – why aren’t we telling our girls that while it is okay to enjoy doing your hair and your nails, that it’s also okay to have a ‘no BS’ approach to things and to enjoy being a little bit more like ‘one of they guys’? Whatever that may means…

Women need not be exclusively one or the other. We shouldn’t be pegged into a particular category, and an emotional state should not be stereotyped, and attributed to a gender. If a group of girls said to a guy that he was ‘just one of the girls’ it would be taken as an extreme insult.

In short, being called ‘one of the guys’ or being referred to as being ‘a bit of a boy’, isn’t a complement, it’s a problem…

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