Dating. That ever-exciting game we play at various points throughout our lives before we settle down. A pastime that in all honestly, actually gives more insight to ourselves than it sometimes does to the person we are currently seeing that particular evening. Now I’m not talking sex here. I’m talking dates. The PG kind. You know, where you meet up with someone for a drink and try to get to know each other more, with some harmless flirting thrown in to make it exciting.
Now in the space of about three days, with about five different people, I have been having the same conversation. Why is it so difficult for a modern singleton to find love? Actually, not even love. To find someone we like enough to want to date or keep seeing for an extended period of time, and seeing what happens. Each of the people that I have spoken to are going through their own little ‘love dramas’, myself included. It’s part of growing up right? We are all in our twenties, and all can’t seem to find anyone we like enough to make it more serious. If we do, the other person is completely confused. Typical, right?
I don’t know about you, but I’ve noticed that when dating, people can be categorised into two groups. You either find someone as quickly as running water flows from a tap when you turn on the faucet, or (and this is the category I fall into) it’s like waiting for rain in a drought, both useless and disappointing. The former is where I would categorise my sister. She is extremely easy on the eyes and while a little mental, has a rather likeable personality making her an all-rounder. She met her fiancé when she was seventeen and they have been together for almost seven years. They work, and they are extremely lucky to have found one another. Now I’m not saying that category two are anything less than all rounders’ like my sister, but just that we aren’t as lucky… and we tend to attract the crazy… or the socially inept.
So what do we do? We turn to online dating. I’ll say it openly and honestly, for it is not something that embarrasses me. I’m on Tinder. Online dating has become a norm for society and Tinder has become the norm for most millennials. Seeing the Tinder app on someone’s phone is becoming as frequent and as typical as seeing Facebook or WhatsApp. Do I like it? I haven’t quite made up my mind. Now what I will say is that it does give everyone using it, a little ego boost. You swipe right, they swipe right ‘It’s a Match’ appears on your screen, and you sit there thinking ‘Hell yeah, I’m fire!’ If you are interested, you strike up a conversation, and see where it leads, (usually off of Tinder and onto WhatsApp). You talk, you get on, you flirt, you get asked out, you say yes, and you go on a date.
But it’s just a bit shit… it doesn’t often work out for most people. The way people are able to sell themselves online isn’t always as successful when in person. What I think also makes it worse, is that if we aren’t one hundred per cent sure about someone, we simply just move onto the next one, without giving the former a chance. While in some cases I get, I mean the guy I was dating, turned out to be the complete opposite to me, in the way that would never work. Think, judging life choices by the second date… Other times, I feel like as millennials, we just don’t want to muster any interest or care for one another past the physical.
In the long term, to be attracted to someone physically just isn’t always enough. – To keep seeing someone but not trust him or her in the slightest, purely because of the physical is, in my opinion, a waste of time. It gets you nowhere. It creates excessive and unnecessary drama that ends up hurting both people. (If this is a result of loneliness, then simply having a person there won’t fix that. That’s on you. That’s all to do with assessing your own insecurities and your view of yourself. But that’s another conversation entirely.) – However, when we decide that we do finally want something more, we are faced with the difficulty of finding this, and so this vicious circle begins again.
Now it isn’t always this bleak, I mean Internet dating is a massive success and there wouldn’t be as many sites available to sign up to. I mean, come on, apparently Match.com is responsible for more relationships and marriages than any other dating site out there… (Maybe this is where I’m going wrong… time to get a match.com profile together perhaps?!), it may well just be something that requires a lot of time, dedication and the patience to filter out the terrible from the great. In my case, if Internet dating fails, I’m going to have to call Hitch…